It was many years ago in September. Bill and I had just finished building a home in central Minnesota and were about three-and-a-half months from the birth of our first daughter. It was a time for dreaming, lofty hopes and high expectations.
Late one afternoon we packed a simple, picnic basket dinner and headed off to Lake Maria State Park to take in the fall colors. We enjoyed our meal in the company of migrating birds and listened to the wind rustle through the trees. Afterwards, we walked through the forest, marveling at the brilliant colors and the fiery leaves that had fallen to the ground. We loved these kinds of walks and it wasn’t long before we found ourselves saying, “Wouldn’t it be wonderful if someday we had land of our own with trails like this running through it?” We let our minds envision a house nestled in tall trees with pathways meandering through acres of wooded land. It was a delightful evening of daydreams—one we would remember many years later.
Time passed. Bill changed jobs and we built a new home closer to family and friends. It felt like the place we would put down permanent roots—the place we would raise the two daughters we now had. I audaciously announced I would live in that house forever.
A few years later Bill took a job with a company looking to relocate in northern Minnesota. I supported the job change wholeheartedly, though it was a three-hour commute for Bill, which he drove multiple times each month. But soon after, the company wanted him on site and we were asked to move. The thought hit me hard. Surely God wouldn’t take us away from family and friends and our oh-so-permanent home! A move was inconceivable to me! Bill and I began to pray and seek God’s guidance. I was sure He would answer by dropping an anvil on the whole idea of moving.
But God began speaking to me in gentle, subtle ways—my morning Bible reading, a song on the radio, a Sunday morning sermon. And though these resonating messages whispered that He was preparing me to move, I didn’t want to believe they were from God. So I waited for a different answer.
I cried. I wrestled with God in prayer. I wanted His best for our lives but I simply couldn’t fathom a move. I prayed He would not allow this to happen but I added, "Your will be done, not mine."
Months passed. Friends discouraged us from leaving, wanting us near. We watched for signs. We continued to pray. On the surface, life seemed fairly normal, but underneath the indecision gnawed at the walls of my stomach. I thought I was putting it all in God’s hands, but part of me gripped it tightly. The stress was constant.
Soon after, my Dad was diagnosed with a progressed stage of prostate cancer. At best, he would have a few years. At worst, 18 months. Surely God would not ask us to make a move when my family needed me close by.
“...it was God who was patient with me, extending grace as I learned to trust Him more.”
I remember thinking that God would reveal His will for us in His own time if we were just patient enough to wait. And while that may be true, I can see now that it was God who was patient with me, extending grace as I learned to trust Him more.
On a family vacation in the mountains I finally opened my heart, loosened my grip, and completely submitted to God’s will for us. It seemed He was nudging us to make the move so I committed toward that end and asked Him to close the opportunity if it wasn’t what He wanted. With tear-streaked cheeks I lifted my eyes to the hills and was filled with God’s peace—unexpected, overwhelming peace.
What followed wasn’t easy. Bill’s company hit some financially hard times. We sold our house. We left our loved ones behind. We went through a season of deep loneliness. Making this move was a giant step of faith, but through it all God’s peace remained.
It’s been decades since that all took place. We settled into our new community. We made the most of my dad’s remaining days. We raised our two girls in what turned out to be the best place for them to thrive. Bill’s company expanded greatly. We were blessed with a network of friends that surpassed our imagination. We grew in the Lord in ways I believe would not have happened had we not followed as God was leading.
I think back on that time quite often as I look out the windows of my house nestled in tall trees with pathways meandering through acres of wooded land. Yes, God, who delights in giving us our heart’s desires, blessed us shortly after we made the move. He gave us what we had casually murmured in a daydream years before. And now, every tree and shrub on our land is a constant reminder of God’s abundant love toward us and His unrelenting faithfulness in our lives.
God is worthy of our complete trust. It is a lesson I learned after a long battle with my own stubbornness, but one that indelibly marked my journey of faith and forever changed my life.
“Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.” - Proverbs 3:5-6
Lake Maria State Park, 1986