“…Through all the colors and changes of our lives, with the help of God.”
Those were the closing words of the vows my husband and I made to one another forty years ago. We stood, nervously holding hands, dressed in white, at the front of a church, surrounded by family and friends. We had waited what seemed an eternity for this day, following a year-long engagement and three years of dating prior. We were young and excited and so very anxious to be married. We really had no idea what the future held, but there were a few things we were sure of: we were in love, God was with us, and now we would finally be together. And so, on that colorful October day with falling leaves and rising dreams we started our journey as husband and wife.
Little did we know that in the years to come, we would live in six different cities—moving seven times—and would construct three houses together, doing progressively more of the work ourselves with each build.
We had no idea that after miscarrying our first pregnancy, the Lord would bless us with two beautiful, bright daughters and that we would become a tight-knit family, taking annual cross-country camping trips, making birthdays feel like winning the lottery, holding fast to nightly dinners together, celebrating one another’s victories over big bowls of popcorn, and making Christmas the best time of the year.
When our daughters married we gained two sons and grafted them into our family as securely as our girls themselves. Four grandchildren followed, expanding our hearts and opening the exciting new world of grand parenting. Love, it seems, has never been in short supply.
We could not have foreseen the career paths that unfolded for us either. Bill worked in the public sector for about eleven years serving in the roles of city manager and economic development director before leaving for private enterprise and eventually taking a thirty-year position with Cirrus Aircraft in business administration. Through the years he had the responsibility of overseeing numerous departments including Human Resources, Finance, Safety, and Facilities as well as Inter-Governmental Relations, Special Projects and the company’s Flying Club. Who would have thought that he would also become a pilot, attaining ratings for both instrument and commercial flight?
My career, which I was sure was headed toward business communication, instead sparked an entrepreneurial endeavor into graphic design and hand-rendered art. I launched Aspenglow Arts shortly after we married and spent my entire career working from a home studio while raising our girls and running our household. The flexibility allowed me to be deeply involved for years at our daughters’ school, assisting with their marketing and design needs, leading a mom’s prayer group, planning events, and even teaching art and music for a time. In the midst of it, I published a children’s book and, more recently, started a website, a blog, and an Etsy shop.
Life has taken us to places we never would have expected. Of course, no one journeys through forty years of marriage without facing challenges and hardships—and we’ve had our share. We’ve weathered seasons of stress, change and loss. But even in our most painful times, I have never questioned Bill’s love for me and commitment to our relationship. In spite of adversities—and at times because of them—our marriage, though far from perfect, has continued to deepen and grow stronger with every passing year.
“I can trace God’s fingerprints everywhere—through every hill and valley of our history.”
When I really think about it, there are a lot of things that have helped make our marriage work: good communication—about everything from parenting to finances to what to watch on tv, never going to bed angry—even when it’s meant having to stay up very late to find resolution, acknowledging monthly anniversaries by having a few moments together to exchange cards, always fighting fair, and maintaining our priorities—which for us has meant keeping God at the center of it all. That, above everything else, has kept us grounded, secure and in love. God has never failed to be with us every moment of these past forty years. And because of that, we have never had to make a decision on our own, never been without guidance nor help, and never faced an issue bigger than we could handle. The good things that have come from this marriage—both big and small—have all come from God’s hand. Looking back from the pinnacle of this marital milestone I can trace God’s fingerprints everywhere—through every hill and valley of our history. It brings tears of gratitude.
Every now and then I imagine I can still feel Bill’s trembling hand in mine as we stand together on our wedding day. How could forty years have passed already? But then I look over and see his familiar face and I slip my hand into his and think about how well we fit together—better than ever, really. And as summer gives way to the changing colors of fall I am reminded of the promises that have been kept all these years—promises that will continue to last through all the colors and changes of our lives.
With the help of God.