This time of year we celebrate motherhood and rightfully honor those in this noble position. Lord knows moms deserve recognition and gratitude for their unrelenting, devoted love. But for those women who are sitting in the shards of a broken heart over sorrow for a child, this time of year cuts deeply. It is to those women I want to share my heart…
For those who have lost a baby to miscarriage—You became a mother the moment your child was conceived. You were the only home your baby knew. They received all their nourishment, warmth, and protection from you. They heard the sound of your voice and the rhythmic beating of your heart. They felt your movements. They felt your love. The loss of this precious life leaves an emptiness in your spirit that is literally manifested in your body. Your pain is real and profound.
For those whose child is struggling—Someone once said that a mother is only as happy as her least happy child. That’s because a mom desires her child to thrive in life and in the Lord. When that’s not the case, she channels her every thought, action and prayer toward that end. Whether your child is struggling emotionally, physically, spiritually or mentally it is an agonizing time and one that can plummet you to the point of exhaustion and leave you at the doorstep of despair.
For those whose child is estranged—Motherhood is a complicated undertaking by well-intentioned, imperfect women. And children are unique individuals with their own free will. Even the best of moms operate within the confines of a messy, broken world whose influences and entanglements can cause distances that were never meant to be. An emotional wall keeps you separated from your child and you constantly long for restoration.
For those whose child is far away—When a child is born, a mom experiences what it’s like for her own heart to beat outside of her body. Mother and child are intertwined in ways that cannot be separated. But children grow into adults and sometimes they live in distant places. Because of that, you are separated from your very own heart. You long to be with them again. You ache to hold them in your arms.
For those whose child has died—Losing anyone we love is a painful and life-altering experience. But losing a child can be among the most intensely desolate ones. For those of us moms whose children have not died, we can only imagine the depth of your grief and the consuming sorrow you must contend with as your own life continues. We know your pain is deeper than our understanding.
For all the brokenhearted mommas—Each one of you wears the mantle of motherhood—one worthy of honor directed by God Himself (Exodus 20:12). You are experiencing pain because you have loved deeply. That love is a gift from God who authored it and inscribed it on your heart. Love compels you to think about your child, to support and help them through their struggles, to continue to extend your hand toward restoration, and to ache for them when they are beyond your reach. Your pain is a reminder that your love persists because “Love never ends.” (1 Corinthians 13:8).
For the childless—Not to be forgotten are those women who long to have a child and for whatever reason are unable to. Your pain is every bit as real, born out of heartache and disappointment. You grieve the loss or potential loss of your hopes and dreams and you wonder if the longing in your heart will ever subside.
The Balm of Hope
Dear woman of faith, God sees you right now, just as you are, in all your suffering. He sees the full scope of what you have been through and what you are facing today. He knows with clarity your circumstances. He hears your cries, He gathers your tears, He feels your pain. Not only is He near to your shattered heart, but He has the ability and desire to help you, strengthen you, and hold you as only He can. (Isaiah 41:10). God is with you. You are not alone.
As Mother’s Day approaches, it can feel like a kick in the stomach to be painfully reminded of all your heartache. But, if it’s possible in the middle of your struggles and loss, I invite you to let this Mother’s Day be for you—let it bless your most distressed places. Let it honor this part of your life, even as you are hurting. The love or longing you have for your child is beautiful in God’s sight. Let Him wrap His compassionate arms around that love—around your very soul—and give you his reassuring peace.
Be blessed, dear woman of faith. God loves you as His child. And just like the love you have for your child, His love never ends.
“The Lord is near the brokenhearted…” - Psalms 34:18
“He heals the wounds of every shattered heart.” - Psalms 147:3